I won’t lie, flirting is an art. You not only have to know how to get a man’s attention in a way that will trigger his happy spots, but you also have to have the courage to do it! Guts, technique, execution, leaving an impression, are all the steps to effective flirting so it’s no wonder it’s such a huge thing to get it right. Not to mention the cultural stigma that it makes a woman too “bold, overbearing, desperate” and whatever else you’ve heard that’s turned you off from being the one to approach a man, it’s not surprising women don’t know which way to turn nowadays. But here’s the thing…unless you become the one to flirt your way into a relationship, you’re stuck picking from the men who are going to attempt to choose you. While this may sound nice on the surface, you’re missing out on a ton of opportunities, like the guys who are checking you out from the corner of their eyes thinking, “geez, there’s no way she’d go for someone like me”. Now I know, you’re thinking if he doesn’t have the balls to come approach you then surely he doesn’t have what it takes to have a lasting, passionate, intimate relationship. Wrong. He may just be unassuming, shy, somewhat introverted, or has been burned too many times himself and is a little uncertain of his own choosing abilities. Or he may just plain suck at flirting. But ladies, this could also be the guy who’s going to treat you like gold and be completely faithful and devoted! You don’t know. Yet.
So don’t wait for a guy’s gut to tell him to come talk to you. Listen to yours, trust yours, and act on yours! If you look at a guy and feel that “oo la la”, that’s your first sign, and a signal to do something! But what you ask? Well, here’s the flirting 101 breakdown;
- Swallow your fear, push it down and don’t let it interfere with step 2
- Go up to him. If you’re standing near him in line at the coffee shop or grocery store (or wherever!) you’ve already accomplished this step.
- Touch him. That’s right, touch him! A simple, momentary hand on his arm is perfect. It’s unassuming while giving electricity an opportunity to pass between you. And flirting only happens when electricity happens.
- State the obvious, and follow with a question. I’m serious. “I love your shoes, you have such great style. Where did you get them” “You smell so nice, what’s your cologne” “Boy it sure is busy here, the food must be good! Do you come here a lot? What would you recommend?” By opening up the dialogue you get his attention, especially with a compliment! By asking a question you are engaging him in a conversation. Now you’re talking! And FLIRTING!
- Keep it short, because you’re a busy woman with things to do, so end with, “I’ve have to run actually, but why don’t I give you my number? Give me a call and we’ll do coffee sometime?”
Try these steps and see how many calls you get!
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