Are you tired of wasting time on Mr. Wrong? Are you done with entertaining Mr. For Now? Are you ready for Mr. Right? Of course you are! And you’ve never been more ready than you were at 12:00 a.m. on January 1st. You need a dating strategy! You’re going to rewrite your online dating profile! You’re only going to accept conversations with men who have read your profile! You’re going to hire Chantal Heide, Canada’s Dating Coach!
You’re overwhelmed!
I’ve got excellent news for you. The first step in your New Year’s Dating Strategy is all about you, and you can start right now. This is the Year of Positivity.
Like attracts like. Look to how well you relate to your closest friends for proof. If you embrace the worst-case scenario, if you complain without taking action, if you consistently belittle and put yourself down, chances are excellent that you are going to attract a man who is in the same boat you are. You are destined to rot in negativity together.
Let’s get you into the right boat!
Whatever your New Year’s resolutions are, and however well you’re proceeding with them, add these mantras to your list:
I am going out of my house and enjoying life. The older we get, the more set in our routines we become. It’s far more tempting to stay home and sip a glass of wine while marathoning Gilmore Girls. The more set in your ways you get and the more you cut yourself off from socialization, the more difficult it will be to put effort into dating and a romantic relationship. Don’t give up on dating. Say yes to at least one invitation a month when you’d rather stay in. Online dating is fine, but it’s more encouraging to go out of your house and meet men in person, even just to practice small talk and flirting. Say yes when your girlfriends suggest a night at the club. Say yes to Great Uncle Bill’s charity golf tournament. Say yes to a singles dance. Say yes to a dating seminar! At the very least, continue to cultivate the friend and family relationships you have now.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who is content to watch TV with you? You just might! But it’s hard to meet him if that’s all you’re doing. His friends are encouraging him to get out and find you, too. No excuses. And on that note…
I am done making excuses – for myself, and for people who disrespect me. You’re living your life, now own it. No more hiding behind excuses. You’ve dated a lot but haven’t settled down, why? Because you haven’t found the right man yet. It’s not because every guy you’ve dated is a loser, it’s not because there are no good men left, it’s not because you’re too picky.
You’ve been dumped? Is it because he was a loser? Or because you weren’t a good fit? Doesn’t matter why! You got dumped. That sucks, but it’s also part of your journey to finding a forever man, so you got dumped, it sucks, but once you’re over the grieving stage, stop overanalyzing it and move forward.
You were crazy-possessive in your last relationship and your boyfriend dumped you, saying you have trust issues and you’re a lunatic. Is it because he’s nuts? Is it because you’ve been cheated on? Is it because you’re crazy-possessive and were acting like you owned him? Own your mistakes, learn from them, and look forward.
The guy you’re dating doesn’t want to meet your friends. Is it because he’s really busy with work? Is it because he’s dedicated to serving on community boards? Is it because he plays in a sports league? If you’re dating a guy who doesn’t jump at the chance to meet your friends after at least a month of dating, he’s avoiding getting to know you, and you need to avoid him, and anyone else who is using you, full stop.
I am taking a fresh approach to dating. If you’ve been wasting time on guys who are just looking for sex, change your approach to dating altogether. You no longer have time for guys who can’t be bothered to read your dating profile, who don’t offer to pay your way on at least the first date, who have no ambition. If you go on one date with a guy like that, you’re not going on a second one. Make that vow right now.
On the other hand, if you’re serial dating because every guy you meet has some deal-breaker quality, or if you haven’t accepted a date request from an online match website because he just doesn’t quite sound like someone you want to spend time with, keep going! You’re picky, and you should be. Analyze your online profile to make sure you’re depicting the real you there – I’ll be back with tips on that soon – and carry on.
Meet Canada’s Dating Coach herself! Chantal Heide will be making several public appearances. Take a look at her upcoming events and find out how to get your New Year’s Dating Resolutions off to a stellar start.
If he’s NOT ready to commit and you’re tired of this scenario, or just want to make sure your next kiss is with someone who’s ready, get a copy of No More Assholes and find someone seriously amazing and ready to commit. He’s out there, I promise.
If he’s ready to commit and it’s time to take it to the next stage (woohoo!), read After The First Kiss – 7 Steps to Making Your First Year Together Ridiculously Awesome and make sure you’re creating a strong foundation together.
This is the book that helps you avoid turning little things into big fights, and you’ll love how the advice inside helps you create the Magical relationship you’re looking for. Peaceful, cohesive, passionate, and intimate.
Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now. My specialty is your peace of mind, and I’m adept at giving the perspective you need along with the tools you’ll use to start feeling happier, clearer, and on your way to the Love you want ASAP.
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