You’d think the easiest way to stop fighting is to just pick different people, and that can work some (or most!) of the time. But if you’re finding you end up in a lot of fights over “stupid stuff”, you gotta start the work at home…deep in your home, like right down deep inside of you and your brain. Scientifically speaking, you have to shrink your amygdala, that part of your lizard brain that’s geared to tell you whether you need to get your gloves on and give er’, or get your Nikes on and run for the hills – your fight or flight response.
Your amygdala is, in my opinion, overdeveloped for today’s much safer world. So go ahead and shrink it, cause now it’s just causing you problems. You’ll find that not only will you feel much calmer, much harder to “trigger”, much saner and safer and more secure in your body really (take my word for it, I’m speaking from experience!), but you’ll feel more compassion, and you’ll look at situations that used to p*ss you off with a new empathy for the other person. Like, instead of going off on your friend for being late, you’ll feel Zen while waiting, and when they show up all flustered because their sitter was late or the line-up was long or the traffic was jammed you’ll give them a hug and say, “that sucked. Now let’s go pick a different movie”.
Don’t believe me? Don’t knock it till you try it!
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